A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them.  Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely.  It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.  "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.  "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.   With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's suit!"

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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.  Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.  After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

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Six-year-old Susie, and her four-year-old brother Bobby, were sitting together in church.   Bobby giggled, sang, and talked out loud.  Finally, his big sister had enough.   "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."  "Why?   Who's going to stop me?"  Bobbie asked.  Susie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?  They're hushers."

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A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.  Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.  Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"  The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City."  Saint Peter consults his list.  He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."  The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
And it's the minister's turn.  He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Calvary for the last fourty-three years."  Saint Peter consults his list.  He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."  "Just a minute," says the minister.   "That man was a taxi driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff.   How can this be?" 
"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter.  "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."   

~Authors Unknown~

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